Death Cab For Cutie

My musical dreams were made a reality this past Friday when I got to see Death Cab for Cutie live, in concert. 

My friend won tickets to the show and I presume knows my love for the band and offered a ticket to me. So, not only did I get to see the show but I got to see it for free...and we got to park about 8 spots away from the entrance to Gexa Pavilion which made everything 100x better. 

I have loved DCFC since early high school...which for me was around 2005. I was introduced to their album Plans first. Their music just resonates with me. It's melancholic, soulful, and then at times just rocks your entire being. 

I got a text from my sister asking if I wanted to join them for the show and I about jumped out of my seat. I immediately asked my dad to watch my kids...nothing was going to stop me from seeing that show. 

I don't know if I can adequately explain how excited I was to get to see the show. As I was sitting in my seat waiting for the band to start my sister, Elise, asked me if I was having a bad time or just unable to control my excitement. 

I had been chatty the whole evening but once the band was about to start I was just silent. 

I'm not exaggerating when  say that I was acting the same way I did when I walked down the aisle to my husband and when I held my son and daughter for the first time. In every one of those experiences I was silent with emotion that I couldn't control. It really was that impacting. 

Their set list was nothing like I expected. 

They opened with I Will Possess Your Heart. It had a long interlude of musical genius before Gibbard began to sing. The whole band looked so calm and comfortable. It was this amazing experience where I felt like I knew these people...which was really so weird. The connection people make through music is so interesting and fascinating to me. They played The New Year towards the end of the set and I was instantly transported to my mom's Expedition when I listened to that song on my first solo drive after getting my license. 

Gibbard took the stage alone and played I Will Follow You Into the Dark which made me immediately wish my husband had been there so we could dance. I was genuinely surprised people weren't dancing in the aisles. 

Quickly the concert was over. They started and ended perfectly on time. I was so appreciative of how prompt they were. It made me love them even more. I wish the encore had been an extra hour. 

I have never been to a single concert and not thought 'I wonder when this will be over'. I never thought that once at this show. It was over and I felt like it had only just begun. 

Even though they didn't play even half the songs I wish they would've- Transatlatisicm is my favorite album and they only played a couple songs from it- it was still the best concert I've ever been to and I can almost confidently say I will never be to one as wonderful. 

Really, I might as well never see another live show. I should also mention that I tend to lean towards dramatics. I will most certainly go to other shows. But I'll leave saying 'that was good...but it was no Death Cab.' 

I like to think that since it was one of Chris Walla's last shows that he picked the set list and those are his favorites and mean the most to him so it makes me feel better about not hearing my favorites. He didn't give a long goodbye he simply put his hands at Heart's Center and gave a small bow as he exited the stage- saying more about himself than a long speech could have done. 

He was so wonderful to watch during the set. As he sang vocals behind the upright piano he looked as if his whole musical soul was pouring out of him. And the long glances he and Ben shared were sweet and seemed to say 'I'll miss this, brother'...and maybe I was reading too much into everything. But it was nice to share in their evening. 

My takeaway is that music is powerful and impacts people more deeply than most things. I wish I could hang out with Gibbard and the gang and talk about Jesus and learn more about their music. 

Here is a photo from the show...

I barely took any because I was too entranced. 

Here's the one video I took

August

This time of year makes me remember and think about two sweet things:
On August 23, our sweet Rayne will turn one...
But before Rayne...before even Ryder...there was Isaiah. There was my first pregnancy that only lasted 8 or so weeks. Isaiah is what we call him. We had no way of knowing that he was a him but we felt it.

A quick Google search reveals these options for the meaning of the name 'Isaiah'

Biblical Meaning: 
The name Isaiah is a Biblical baby name. In Biblical the meaning of the name Isaiah is: The salvation of the Lord.

American Meaning: 
The name Isaiah is an American baby name. In American the meaning of the name Isaiah is: The salvation of the Lord.

Hebrew Meaning: 
The name Isaiah is a Hebrew baby name. In Hebrew the meaning of the name Isaiah is: The Lord is generous. Salvation of the Lord. 

Isaiah was due to be born late August 2011. Rayne was safely delivered the week of Isaiah's estimated due date. I find so much sweetness in that fact. "The Lord is generous." He sure is. So generous that 3 months after taking Isaiah home- he filled my belly with Ryder.

Ryder is my wonderful, kind, generous, loving, rambunctious first born son. He will be 3 in November.I guess this month makes me think of 3 sweet things because if Isaiah hadn't been called home then we never would have met Ryder. Talk about a blessing in a time of struggle. That boy brings more joy to my life than I ever knew existed. The first time he took my face in his hands, looked me straight in the eyes, and told me he loved me I melted. The first time he said, 'mama, i need you' I came running. The first time he closed his door to his bedroom with me on the other side but told me to 'watch your fingers' I knew he'd always try to protect me. He's it.

Rayne will turn 1 in less than two weeks. When she first walked all the way from one end of the room to the other just to get to me I was so proud. When she learned to wave and clap I was giddy with laughter. And last week when she said 'mama' with intent for the first time I wanted to cry. She's a joy and she is my delight and I love that she is a shining light all by herself but also is a beacon of hope, reminding me of her brother.

God used my body to house, nourish, nurture, and comfort three babies. We have only met two of those babes earth-side but one day we will all be reunited in Heaven, Lord willing. I will get to hold my Isaiah. I will get to comfort him.

The Lord is generous. Isaiah never knew pain. He never knew the suffering that comes with living in this broken world. He is with our King and that is the best prayer you can offer for your children- that they would know the Lord. What a great comfort to know the King.

Here is a LINK to the blog post I wrote post miscarriage.
What I feel today is the same I wrote then:
The Lord is good. The Lord provides.
The Lord's timing does not fail.

Onward to the rest of August and to celebrating my babies.
Here is the birthday girl-

Titus

As I was reading a thread today about a woman desiring a puppy after a recent loss it made me think about my own loss and my own puppy...

Right around this time 3 years ago we got our sweet puppy Titus on the heels of a miscarriage. We went to the humane society 'just to look'. We went in knowing we one day desired a golden retriever/lab mix and didn't expect to find one. You could tell it was spur of the moment because I was wearing all black and what clothes respecting human goes to visit dogs wearing all black. 

We looked at all the puppies and small dogs in the indoor space and of course we saw adorable pups but didn't even bother to get any out to play with. We went to look at the outdoor dogs and made it through an entire row without coming to a stop. We reached the second row...about halfway down Garritt and I both heeled (dog humor) and looked at each other. Before us wiggled a golden lab mix. He was small and beautiful. I had a minor freak out and began frantically asking Garritt how we went about getting it out. He said we should ask and I told him to go find someone while I stood right there, guarding the dog. I stood in front of that cage positive that if I moved someone would sweep in and take the dog. 

We walked Titus around a little and then sat in this small area with grasses and two benches. While I cuddled the pup, black clothes now masked in hair, I asked Garritt what we should do next. "Where do we go from here?"

Apparently this sweet dog had been bought before and returned. He had been taken to a home...the family decided they didn't like him...and discarded him right back into the shelter. He went from sleeping in a house to sleeping back on cement. He went from feeling loved and cared for to being cared for but not feeling the love of a family. Because of that he had all of his shots and microchip and we could take him home that day if we chose to. 

We chose to. 

He was wonderful and adorable and we went straight to Petsmart to buy him a collar with his name on it. 

We named him Titus and like his name he was strong and kind and protective and gentle. He was everything we needed him to be. And we became everything he needed. 

He got a little sick a few weeks after having him. As I cleaned up a mess he made I remember falling to the floor to cradle him in my arms and I began to weep and cry out to God to keep my puppy safe. If you remember, we were on the heels of a miscarriage... I begged the Lord to save my puppy. I didn't want another loss. 

3 years later and Titus has never been sick again. Aside from living fully to his lab potential and eating all kinds of things he shouldn't and then throwing them up! 

I just see so many parallels between loss, being saved, and finding hope. 

Now, we're on the heels of celebrating Easter. 

Jesus was embraced by a group of people... then rejected by the same people...brutally murdered...and then came back to fulfill His promise to save the very people that mocked and rejected Him. 

It may seem a far stretch to go from talking about a dog that helped bring a family peace in a time of sorrow to talking about the Savior of the universe. But the Lord is good at all times. In times of sorrow and in times of great happiness. He knows what we need and provides it... even when it doesn't make sense to us. 

It's three years later and our family has grown. 2 dogs, a bunny, and two children. 

We couldn't be more happy. Or tired. 

I'm hugging Titus a little tighter today. 

We do not punch our friends in the stomach.

A lot has been going on recently. In the last month or so I started working two days a week at an after school program with pre-K and Kindergarten aged kiddos. I spend a lot of time at this job comforting the kids. I am not used to being around this age group. I knew that they get hurt in small ways often but I didn’t realize how often they cry. I didn’t realize how often they NEED comforting. Yesterday, I spent most of the day talking about consequences with my kids. I didn’t intend to do this but we had a few occasions that really called for it, consequences that come from punching someone in the stomach and not obeying. I also spent a lot of time reassuring and loving and hopefully teaching.

After not working for a week and a half, due to Thanksgiving break, I wasn’t horribly excited to go to work yesterday. But, I came home feeling so great. It is not like I had an easy day or even an abnormally fun day. What I had was a day, which I realized, would have discouraged a lot of people if they were in my situation. What I saw was my gift, my natural instinct of mothering. I do not have the gift of coloring (as one girl repeatedly asked me to do). I do not have the gift of teaching (I would absolutely hate being in a classroom day after day). I do not have a lot of gifts that I admire in others but what I do have is the gift of being nurturing.

I realized this after I came home last night. I have known ever since I gave birth to Ryder that I was meant to be a mother. This is what God set me apart to do. But, I didn’t necessarily know that my gift extends to others… but, I think it does. And I couldn’t be more thankful. I love a lot of things and I would love to be the best at a lot of things but I felt so content last night in my calling to do exactly what I’m doing and that He has me exactly where I am. I want to celebrate my gift. I want to publicly thank the sweet Lord for designing me the way he did. I am thankful that while I am constantly changing and the world is quickly becoming a scarier place that God is steadfast and never changes. He is yesterday, today, and tomorrow and will stay the same at all of those times.

Celebrate your gifts. 

New Mexico, CO, Anniversarys, and more...

The last month of summer has flown by so quickly. We have done so much I thought I would take this opportunity to share some pictures...

Ryder and I took a trip to CO and on the way we stopped in New Mexico. My dad and I spoke at a conference in Denver, CO. My dad has been speaking at this conference since I was 7 or so and I have the fondest memories of Colorado from when I was growing up. When the opportunity came up for me to go this summer I was SO excited to take Ryder and for it to be his first vacation. It was just my mom, dad, Ryder and I piled in the mini van headed for adventure! On the way, we stopped in New Mexico and visited a few places my dad's family used to go when he was growing up. I get so much joy out of seeing my dad show us places of his youth. Sometimes, I probably wouldn't ordinarily care about some of the places he shows us but because he has such fond memories and he loves telling us the stories that accompany each place I find myself falling in love with every place we visit. 

NEW MEXICO

NM was beautiful and it was so much fun to see where my dad's family used to vacation. Ryder loved it too! He got to hang out in a hiking pack that his aunt and uncle so kindly let him borrow. He was such a trooper on the 10-hr drive. By far, the longest car ride he had ever taken. 

GARDEN of the GODS

Garden of the Gods will be the place I tell my kids stories about when I used to visit. I equate Colorado with Garden of the Gods. I love that place. It is beautiful and I have such fond memories of going there with my parents and brother especially. I could not have been more excited to share that place with Ryder. I know that he will not remember going there but I will definitely remember it and I will tell him about it all the time. It's just a shame that Garritt didn't get to share in the experience with us. But we sent him a lot a lot a lot of videos and pictures. 

COLORADO 

Garden of the Gods is in CO but I thought they needed two different headings. Going to Denver was a fun experience too. I have a lot of experience teaching and speaking in front of larger groups but I am used to speaking to teenagers. I got to speak to a room full of adults at this conference and I felt so comfortable. It was great. My dad and I spoke about parents and teens and about raising teens as young adults instead of old children. I loved it and I definitely would be interested in doing that sort of thing again. 

It was an unforgettable hour for me to spend with my dad. Tag teaming a seminar with him was one of those memories we will be able to share together forever!

I also got to see my wonderful, best, sweet friend Lauren-Claire in Denver and I can't believe we didn't take a picture but it was so much fun to see her and her new house and just to hug her. I had missed hugging her so much. LCP, you're the greatest and I have the highest of hopes for you and your future! 

My mom and I went to the cutest street I've ever been to, Highland Square. We went to a super cute book store, the greatest thrift store, and the best restaurant either of us have ever been to! Of course, that I have a picture for...

I mean, seriously, the queso was AMAZING! Brilliant. 

2 YEARS AND COUNTING

We got home from our trip just in time for mine and Garritt's 2 year wedding anniversary. Last year, we went to Medieval Times for our anniversary and this year we decided to carry on the now-tradition of going to kid-like places for our anniversaries. We chose the Dallas Aquarium for this year's anniversary. It was a hit! Ryder loved it and we had fun going somewhere neither of had been before. It was a good time! 

Anywhoo... that was my last month. WHAT A MONTH! It was great. 

Ryder still isn't sleeping through the night...but he is getting better. I am still so not even close to being the perfect mom AND wife...but I feel like I've made strives. I haven't finished my whole summer goals list...but I've done more than I have in past summers. Overall, God is still good and I'm so excited for what this year is going to bring and I've still got the cutest pumpkin muffin sweetheart baby. 

I'm not proof reading this blogpost... PS

Prowling Lions

As I am waiting to start the SheReadsTruth prayer devotion tomorrow, I decided to read Proverbs 31 this morning. For two reasons, I woke up this morning feeling victory over the enemy and feeling very grateful {in general but also for specific reasons}. Yesterday, when I read Chavon Taylor’s first blogpost I was reminded that in Heaven I will no longer be tired. Last night, when Ryan Hamon spoke at Impact I was reminded that God has beaten Satan already and that I was leaving room to be tempted into bitterness during my multiple night wakings. Today, I am going to write about all of that and more:

.

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour”

1 Peter 5:8

Man, have I felt that for the last-oh-8 months. I didn’t even know I was feeling it. But, it became clear last night as I put Ryder in his crib and it became abundantly clear as I woke this morning feeling refreshed…along with waking last night feeling refreshed and again last night still feeling refreshed {a refreshment that only comes from the Lord}. I was up just as much last night as I have been all week but my attitude was new and different. I have been praying on loop for weeks that God would give Ryder, and in turn me, more sleep. I have gladly woken up multiple times a night for my sweet baby for almost 8 months now but I have only very recently begun to get really sad about it. I have started to let it overcome me. I have not been sad that I have been waking up but I have been sad that I have not felt the Lord answering my prayer. Not even my prayerS, just my one prayer. I have cried out nightly for Him to show me what I am supposed to be learning during this process. How this nightly routine is teaching me something? How I am to grow through this? But, I haven’t felt anything and I think it’s because I was only looking for my answer to be MORE SLEEP. “Just a 4 hour stretch tonight, Lord, please?” And, I have found myself becoming discouraged because I started to think that I wasn’t asking for much. Why isn’t He giving it to me? I’m not asking the world here, Lord, I just want more sleep.

But last night as I prayed for Ryder while he slept in His crib I prayed a new prayer. Actually, I scream prayed a new prayer {in my head, of course. Don’t wake my sleeping baby}. I told the devil that he has no business in my home and he is not welcome here. I cried out that the God I serve has defeated him and will always and forever be victorious over him. This battle isn’t ongoing. It’s won. The battle in my heart is ongoing, however. I cried out to the Lord in apologetic tones. How selfish I am! So, I gently kissed my sons head, went and kissed my husband goodnight, and read a little of 2 Timothy before I fell asleep. 4 hours later, Ryder woke but I felt more rested than I have in a long time. I felt the kind of rest that can only mean my SOUL had found rest. I was at peace with being awake and I was praising the Lord from the moment I woke. And, I continued to praise throughout the rest of the night and now I sit writing this refreshed even though I slept no more than normal.

It’s all about attitude, y’all. God is sovereign and He’s going to get what He wants, regardless of what we think. He wants me, us, to run to Him. He desires to be our everything. So, why wouldn’t we oblige? Why don’t I take up the cross every single day and find refuge in HIS strength when I am weak? Because, most of the time my attitude sucks. Most of the time I am selfish even in my kindness. Most of the time I find flaws where He says I’m redeemed. Most of the time All of the time I am a sinner that doesn’t recognize the depths and grossness of my sin.

Watch out for that lion. He’s waiting in the wings, in your thoughts, in your midst. He’s waiting and will wait as long as he needs to try and steal you from the Lord. He’s patient. Don’t let him devour you.

I was going to write about Proverbs 31 today too but I think it would be better for a later blogpost. But, let me just say that Proverbs 31 teaches you best how to be the kind of woman revered by God. It’s awesome. If you haven’t read it, read it. If you have read it, read it again and learn something new!

God is good, y’all. And He’s faithful even when we’re not. He can’t deny Himself. 

Loving your city through loving the homeless

Ryder is napping so I thought I would take this opportunity to write a quick blog post.

First, I would like to say that this is the second blog post I've written this week. Who am I? Apparently someone who is starting to blog more often. Add that to my last blog post! Another summer goal is to blog more often...I am not going to doom myself by saying how often. Let's be real, I am going to accomplish all of my summer goals and I don't want to paint myself into any corners I cannot escape!

Alrighty, here goes it.

       I went to the grocery this morning and was met by a semi-familiar face when I got there. There is a homeless man that I have seen quite often there that is deaf. He holds a card explaining that he needs help by way of food. Wishing Garritt or my mom were there (they know sign language) I spoke slowly (slowly for me so it was probably still too fast. Really, I speak like a Gilmore Girl) so he could read my lips. I told him I didn't have any cash on me but asked if he was hungry. He signed that he needed food, I know that sign. I asked him if he wanted me to buy him something and I would bring it out when I was done shopping. He said yes and I told him it would probably take an hour for me to shop but I promised I would be back.
      For whatever reason, he was not there when I returned. I knew this was a possibility for many reason; I took much longer to shop than I intended, he may be told that often, he may not have understood my speed talking, or he may have just wanted cash. Whatever the reason, I am so glad it happened. I'll tell you why... It gave me an idea. It gave me an idea that I want to challenge you with.

CHALLENGE: When you go to the store why don't you go ahead and buy an extra meal. A meal that can stay in your car and not be effected by the weather. Or, a nice cold sandwich and chips to give away as soon as you leave the store. Find someone in need and give them that meal!  Look, an extra $5 at the store is not going to break your budget. It's a simple way of loving our city through loving the homeless.

    After I left the grocery store I didn't want the meal I bought to go to waste and it couldn't sit in my car without going bad. I then proceeded to drive around all the hot spots near my house that I usually see homeless friends on the side of the street. I drove around for probably 20 minutes with all of my cold groceries in the back just looking for someone to bless with a meal. You know what happened? I couldn't find ANYONE! Not a one person. So, that lead me to the second part of my challenge...

CHALLENGE PT 2: While driving around looking for someone to gift your meal to PRAY for your city.

     That's what I did. I drove around for 20 minutes looking for a homeless friend while praying for Ft. Worth, TX. I didn't find anyone to give a meal to but I felt so refreshed and filled with love for my city and the people in it. This is not a life-altering challenge. It's not even a hard challenge. It is a REALISTIC challenge. This is also a challenge I plan on doing myself, for the rest of my life. With the hopes that my sweet son Ryder will grow up loving the homeless through loving the Lord.

So, that's it. Get out there and love your city through loving the homeless!
AMEN

Summer Goals 2012

It's that time again. A time to set a list of goals to achieve over the summer. Not once have I ever written a list of goals and actually accomplished even half of it. This year, I will accomplish ALL of the goals on my list! Below I will list a set of goals that I hope to accomplish with the help of my friends and loved ones: 1.Transfer all of my recipes to one easy to use notebook. Hand write them. The best home made recipe books are hand written like Grandma Hines used to do, but she had a card catalog. 2.Start Ryder's scrapbook. I do not have to finish but I at least have to make a good amount of headway. 3.Get back into yoga. Never hot yoga though, that's a death trap just waiting for me. 4.Play a game of Ultimate. One game. That's all I ask. If I get to play more that would be awesome! 5.Go swimming as much as possible with Caitlin, Denver, Chavon, Jude, Amanda, Brittany, and obviously my mom. 6.Go to the museum a lot...but not so much that I start to think it's boring. 7.Replace photos in frames in my house with updated family pictures. 8.GET CLOSER TO FINISHING CERTIFICATION FOR COUNSELING...or maybe just FINISH altogether. 9.Tell everyone who will listen, and even those who won't, about essential oils and how they can genuinely be life changing...and have a class to help with this! 10.Write a novel That's it. That's the list. Subject to change because, well, I wrote it. I know there is something I left out. I will add it if I think of it. If you have any good goals you think I should have, tell me! Here's my cutest creation:

I am so awful at blogging consistently. I want to try to get better. Not because I think anyone in the world is sitting by their computer just waiting to read what I have to say but because I really enjoy writing and even more so I enjoy being consistent!

I just read a blog by my sister-in-law. She always writes moving blogs that spur me on to thinking great thoughts. I've been thinking a lot lately about balance. I want to be better at balancing being a mom AND a wife. I have no problem saying that I am a great mom. I was clearly designed to be a mom and I love it. God has given me the gift of relatively seamlessly entering into motherhood with few hardships. Yes, I had a long labor. Yes, Ryder has already needed surgery. Yes, his sleeping has become less and less consistent. But all of those things I feel like I have handled with ease and the grace that only comes from God.

Anyways, I blog about this to be transparent and for accountability. I want to be a wonderful wife as well as mom. Right after God, my husband should be my first priority. I don't know how to do that at this point. I love Garritt so much and he is so supportive and loving and understanding. I just want to be feel as great about being a wife as I do about being a mother.

Ryder is so wonderful. He is such a joy. He started smiling and laughing in response to things a couple of weeks ago and it changed my life. I can get him to calm down if he's fussy more easily now that I know what he likes.

Things that Ryder likes:
-The Ellen Show
-His mom dancing around in the kitchen while cooking and listening to The Beach Boys
-His mom singing Janis Joplin's 'Me and Bobby McGee'
-Gripping things... like mom's hair
-Eating
-Sleeping in his crib
-Eating
-Walks
-Having explosive diapers
-and Eating

Things Ryder doesn't like:
-Not eating
-Not napping when he's sleepy

I love my big, growing munchkin.
I'm sure you do too... just look at him!

Life as a mom...

I have been a mom for almost 6 weeks now and this is what I have to say about it...
I love it!

When I started dating Garritt I loved being a girlfriend. When I got engaged I loved being a fiance. When I got married I loved being a wife. And now that I have had a baby I love being a mom. All of the aforementioned steps have seemed so natural to me. I think I must have been waiting this whole time to be a mom.

Now I get excited about finding new recipes and making grocery lists to buy everything I need to cook delicious meals. I have no problem (I actually dream about this)with being the ideal 50s, June Cleaver housewife. I find such incredible joy in it. I pray that one day (soon) Garritt and I will be financially able for me to be a full time stay at home mom. I am so far away from being a feminist that I hardly know what it would mean to be one. I love being submissive to my husband. I love cooking my family meals. I absolutely love doing the laundry...this may be due to finally having a working washer/dryer and being over the moon excited to use it. But what I also love is that my husband treats me as an equal and loves me with all the kindness of Christ. If all the feminists in the world had husbands like Christ I doubt they would see the need to be one.

I didn't intend this blog post to be what it has turned into but I'm into it. I started writing this evening to brag about my love of my new darling little son...but it ended up being a proclamation of the Proverbs 31 woman! If you have not read Proverbs 31:10-the end do it now.

What a woman to admire and aim to be like!
God designed me for a purpose and why would I try to flee from the very reason I was made?

Anyways, isn't my son adorable?

The Birth Story

Labor- 41 hours and 18 minutes
Active Labor- 11 hours and 18 minutes
Pushing stage- 1 hour
Contractions felt and prompting me to believe labor was near- one whole week

Those are the statistics that will begin my birth story. I have been stalling writing this because I have not been entirely sure what to write or how to even begin but I will just go for it.

3 weeks ago time was passing much more quickly for me. Looking back it is odd to me that time was passing so quickly because I was in pain that I could not have previously imagined. On Monday, November 21 (my due date) I started having contractions. I hadn’t had any Braxton Hicks contractions throughout my pregnancy so when I began feeling contractions for the first time I thought he must be coming soon. The contractions started becoming more and more regular. I kept going about my life as normally as possible all the while thinking I could be leaving for the birth center at any moment. Those contractions went on until the next Monday when Ryder was actually born.
Labor started on my birthday, November 26. It was my 21st birthday and I hardly remember it. My birthday coincided with Hinesgiving this year. (Hinesgiving is the name of my family’s second Thanksgiving always held on the Saturday after Thursday Thanksgiving). I escaped to my parent’s room during a game of Celebrity Bowl because I was in quite a bit of pain. I contacted my midwife and she asked me to have my mom time 3 sets of contractions. The contractions were all 3-4 minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds-1 minute. At that point my midwife, Donnellyn, told me to go home and have my doula, Stephanie, meet me. It was exciting to get to leave the house with all my family in one place and they all know at the same time that baby Ryder was coming soon! Psh at least that is what I thought at the time. I went home, changed, Stephanie arrived and pretty quickly we were leaving for the birth center! As painful as the drive was I would have thought it would have seemed longer but that felt like the shortest trip to Argyle (the city my birth center is in) that I had ever had. Poor Garritt kept talking to me and not getting a response and asking if I was upset with him. He would then look down to my phone, see the timer going and say ‘Oh, sorry. Is that another one?’

We got to the birth center and were turned around to go home. I was only about a centimeter or two dilated. I am so very glad that we were sent home because baby didn’t come for another 41 hours! What a long labor! That night went very quickly although I did not sleep but 45 minutes. I am seeing a theme…things that should have felt like they took forever just didn’t. Praise God! I think overnight is when my back pain really started. I have never felt pain like that in my life. I definitely didn’t expect it. I cannot even explain the pain but every 3-7 minutes that night and up until he was finally born I felt like my back…I don’t even know. I am at a loss for words to describe any part of it. Most of the night I tried to power through the pain on my own because I knew Garritt was tired and he really needed to get some sleep before the next day. When I could tell he was awake I would just say “please” and he would rub my back through the contractions. I have a bathroom in my bedroom and I can so vividly remember getting up to go to the bathroom and only making it to the end of my bed before having to stop to have a contraction and then the same on the way back. Finally, the sun rose and I decided it was a decent enough hour to call Donnellyn to update her and call Stephanie and have her come over.
The next day was a lot of the same things but here are the highlights:
-Being told what seemed like a million times to eat but not wanting to.
-The most wonderful chiropractor, Rachel Whaley, coming to my house to adjust me.
-Actually being able to take a small nap.
-And finally, leaving for the birth center a second time!
We were passing downtown at 5:17. I remember this because I said to Garritt that if Ryder were born in 20 minutes he would be born at the same time as our nephew Denver. We missed that mark by a wide margin.
The next 11 hours and 18 minutes passed so quickly that I thought Ryder was born in the middle of the night…not at 5:18 in the MORNING…the next day. The next 11 hours and 18 minutes were also the most painful time in my life. Praise God for making it pass so quickly!
Here are the highlights:
-Only being able to walk 5-10 steps before having a contraction
-Sitting, standing, and laying in any position to make the pain the least painful.
-Truly feeling simultaneously very grateful for whoever was applying counter pressure to my back and feeling very bad for asking anyone to do it. The thing I remember the most was how guilty I felt every time I had to ask someone to help me by rubbing my back. I am so thankful for the team I had for being so willing to tend to my back without me even having to ask most times. I feel like the only things I said that whole night were ‘please’ and ‘I’m sorry’. I thought I must have been very annoying.
-Being excited to get in the water…being excited for the jets to turn on…and being very sad that it didn’t help.
-Believing that I must be having back labor since it was so painful and then doing something more painful than the worst contraction to get him to turn around and face the right way. He was not actually faced the wrong way. I was not having back labor. He was just too big for me and caused crazy pain.
- Donnellyn breaking my water. When she asked me if I wanted her to go ahead and break my water I am sure I didn’t look like it but I could not have been more excited! I said yes! I knew at that point that he would be there soon and my back pain would be over!
-Being prayed over constantly. Especially the last prayer Donnellyn prayed before we left to go home. When she was done I said, ‘You don’t get that in a hospital’.

This time when I got in the bathtub I knew I was coming out with a son! I had a 10 pound 6 ounce baby. The pushing stage was NOTHING compared to the labor! Donnellyn explained to me what I was going to do and to let my body guide me. After she said that and I could feel that it was time it was as if everyone in the room disappeared, I could only hear them. I could hear Garritt telling me to squeeze his hand (but I wouldn’t because I didn’t want to hurt him). He kept repeating to squeeze his hand. I could hear another part of my team, Sue, cheering me on. I could hear Donnellyn telling me to feel his hair and telling me how much more I had left. Mostly, I felt and could hear my body telling me when to push and when to take breaks. I have never felt so in-tune with my body before. It is amazing how God equips us to birth children. Before I knew it my son was here and I could see only him. I vaguely remember seeing Garritt cut the cord and hearing Donnellyn say that he was no doubt 10 pounds.

I had a long, hard labor. I lost a lot, and I mean a lot, of blood. I had to have an IV after Ryder was born. I suddenly got very tired and was falling asleep while people were talking to me and then was wide awake after the IV. I wasn’t allowed to get up for a very long time. I had to eat but still didn’t really want to. I had to drink a LOT of water and gross chlorophyll. I then threw up the water and chlorophyll and then had to drink more. But none of that mattered. I had my son. The Lord finally gave me a son. My family felt like more of a family. It would never be just Garritt and I again.

I didn’t cry. I didn’t cry during contractions. I didn’t cry when I was pushing. I didn’t even cry when I saw Ryder for the first time. I was so incredibly happy when I saw Ryder for the first time. I was so relieved that I had done it and he was with me. It wasn’t until I first saw my family walking through the bedroom door with my mom in the lead to meet Ryder that I cried. It felt so real then. I was so excited to introduce him to my family. It was wonderful.
The question I have been asked most since Ryder’s birth is if I will have another all natural water birth. Every contraction I had I was either pleading with God to take the pain from me, begging Him to walk through the pain with me, or thinking to myself that this would be my only child. So, my answer to that question is that if I have another baby I will no doubt have that baby the exact same way. I will feel every second of pain. I am so pleased that God placed a passion in my heart for natural childbirth. As painful as it was and as many times as I begged God to carry me on His shoulders through my contractions…I would never do it another way. I feel so close to Ryder. I also feel so close to God. The pain I felt is so small compared to the pain He felt when He gave us Christ. The pain He went through allowed me to lean on Him during my pain. How great is our God!
There is my birth story. Long…just like my labor.

Ryder's First Concert

Ryder will forever be able to brag about the fact that his first concert was Taylor Swift. And, boy did he love it. Because of our sweet friend Jane, we were treated to a concert at the Cowboys stadium...in a suite! We had a fully stocked fridge, pizza, and most importantly a private bathroom. Really, we saw a concert the only way a pregnant woman should do anything... with free food, drinks and a private bathroom. Glorious.

Taylor was beautiful and amazing! I never thought I would ever get to see her live. She put on an amazing show!

Jane, Kristin, and I enjoying the sweet musical stylings of Taylor Swift in our suite:

Really though, Ryder kicked a WHOLE lot during the show. He was a dancing fool! He seems to be following in the ways of his mom's musical tastes...and not his dad's. Two against one will always win out in the car. My boy is brilliant!

In other news:
I found Ryder's first outfit! He will come home from the birth center in this little nugget of an adorable outfit! "Born in '11"!

Unless he is HUGE and doesn't fit in it..

And my diaper bag finally arrived! It's beautiful

That's all for now!

Planes, Trains, and Tonka Toys...

My mom and G's mom threw us a baby shower this weekend! It was so fun and I am so grateful for all the work they put into it! There were around 30 people there. My mom kept saying how it was the biggest party she's thrown in her house. She gets a little frazzled when she's the host but she did great! We had sandwiches, sherbet punch, and this awesome cake...

What a clever cake!

We were overwhelmed with gifts! Everyone was so sweet and really did shower us with gifts! Here is a little of the aftermath... I forgot to take a picture of all the gifts when they were pretty and on the tables.

My sweet friend Lauren-Claire got to come to this shower before she leaves for Boston! I was so glad that a someone was throwing a shower that she could come to before she went back to school.

And of course my best friend Amanda was there

Fellas were invited so G was there too!

And then my mom and dad helped me bring all of our goodies home to Ryder's room!

Now, Great Aunt Karen, gave Ryder her old Owl bank! It is absolutely perfect! It is green and blue! Karen said she used to put pennies in it as a little girl to save up for her island... she put in a quarter for Ryder to start with and I can't wait to see what he says he is going to save up for!

It was so much fun to be on this end of a baby shower! We were so incredibly blessed by everyone who came and shared in this experience with us. It was just another one of those milestone experiences that I would have never been able to explain before I was able to go through it.

I can't wait to dress Ryder up in all of his new clothes and see him play with his new toys! We also got a bunch of amazing monogrammed items that I can't wait to put him in!

Read Between the Hines

It's happened. The Hines (or Hines a heart) girls have gathered forces to create a book club. Kristin, Elise, Michelle, Caitlin, Erin and I have entered into the life-long-binding-sisterhood of a book club. 'What will this book club look like?', you may ask yourself. We came together to answer those questions.

We had a LOVELY dinner with amazing place settings (made by Caitlin!) last night to decide what our book club would be.

Not knowing how we would decide who chose the first book I went ahead and did a little research and came with three options. The options I came with were Miss. Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, Sarah's Key, and The Glass Castle. I haven't read any of these books but they all seem like really great options and I plan on reading all three.

I won't go through our entire decision making process because- as some of you would know how our family gets at family things- most of the suggestions were on the more ridiculous side and were just plain silly. What we did decide was that we would be a book club sans rules. We can make suggestions, however. Suggestions like; bring a few choices when it is your turn, we will go in reverse age order for book choosing, the book chooser will host the next book club and choose the main course while the rest of the book club will bring side dishes.

I'm very excited about the book we chose. I asked everyone to do a golf-clap style applause-o-meter to pick their favorite choice but we ended up just going in a circle and saying what we wanted. We were unanimous and chose Miss. Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children! I am really excited to read this book. Look it up and read along with us if you'd like!

Lastly, we left the meeting by deciding a name for our book club. We wanted to incorporate Hines, obviously, and possible a pun or alliteration. Our faithful knowledge owner, Kristin, proposed 'Read Between the Hines'. Obviously, we all wholeheartedly agreed! However, that is not the full title of our book club...
The full title is,
Read Between the Hines: A Sisterly Book Club of Common Courtesy.
We're going to be a big deal.

Ryder's Room!

A couple weeks ago Garritt and I went and bought a crib! It was the kind of experience that brings with it a whole host of things; the first is that it solidifies how real our near future is becoming, the second is that it makes two youngsters like us feel very grown up, and the third is that it is a kind of joy that was a little unexpected. We went to our new favorite store, BuyBuy Baby (for the second time in one day), and left with a crib. The workers there are starting to remember us. The cashier said that it was the third time she'd seen us there but the first time leaving with anything. She was excited for us!

We put it together that evening. I thought that putting a crib together would be as annoying, difficult, and frustrating as it was for us to put together our bookshelf. I was wrong. It was the complete opposite. It was so clear and easy! When we were done and G was obsessively doing a triple check of all the screws he started to speak to them...saying, "Alright guys, you're going to be holding my son. You better keep it together. He's important." And with that we were done and I was weepy. We just looked at each other and said, "Our baby is going to be in here!" How crazy!

So his room is beginning to come together! Here is the evidence...
Our beautiful crib:

The goodies we have acquired thus far:

His little corner table with a few things:

I got these at IKEA, and I think they're hilarious:

And finally our hand-me-down changing table! We just got this last night. It was G's sweet cousin's. It's going to be painted...so imagine it as a stained soft green.

That's it for now! We are still getting curtains and things for the walls. My sister and I are working on a little thing to hang with RYDER on it.
We're still in the market for a stackable washer/dryer though...if anyone knows of one ;)

It's already been a year!

Garritt and I celebrated our one year anniversary last Saturday! I can't believe it's already been a year. It's incredible. I wouldn't have wanted to spend this year with anyone else and I look forward to spending all the rest of my years together.

For our anniversary we went to Medieval Times, the prime location for all couples celebrating years of marriage. A place where the men wear stirrup pants, the drinks come in bowls, and you eat with your hands. I'm surprised we even got tickets...with all the romantic vacationers coming from all over the world to travel back to the Medieval world. WE LOVED IT! I had never been before and I had a blast. Here are some photos from the evening:

This one is a little blurry but that is indeed a 40 ounce BOWL of slushy:

One from inside the arena:

And here are the gifts!
I went a little overboard and got G a guitar! He has wanted one of his own for as long as i've known him and I couldn't resist. He was pretty pumped! I think I was more excited to give him his gift than to receive mine...

My gift was a locket (that I laid on pretty heavily that I wanted). It is engraved with an 'A' on the outside and I have wanted one since High School. I finally have it! On the inside G surprised me with another engraving that says 'Let everything you do be done in love'. My plan is to put a picture of G, Ryder and I in it after the little man is born! But I will definitely be wearing this locket -that I still haven't taken off- while I give birth and the inside engraving couldn't be more perfect!
He also gave me one rose for our first year of marriage!

This next year of our life is going to be so amazing. By this time next year, Ryder will be roughly 8 months old. I can't even begin to imagine all the things that will happen in our second year of marriage...but I can't wait to find out!

A very exciting morning for Garritt

This morning was very exciting for Garritt because he got to feel Ryder kick for the first time!

It is odd that Ryder was kicking so early this morning. Usually, he sleeps all throughout the day and wakes up between 7:30-8. I know this because I can almost always tell what time of evening it is when he starts kicking and moving like crazy. He is a very active boy...just like his parents. So, the fact that he was kicking so early this morning was unusual. Garritt was talking to me and had his hand on my belly and all of the sudden Ryder let's out a little kick. It wasn't a very hard kick so I assumed Garritt wouldn't have been able to feel it but he did! Garritt looks up to me and says, "Did you feel that?". My first thought was 'of course I felt that' but I was suddenly so excited that his statement meant that HE had finally felt it. It was a tiny little kick but that's all it took for Garritt to feel Ryder for the first time.

I am so excited to be able to share Ryder with Garritt in this new way. I am always feeling Ryder in so many ways. He moves and spins and feels like he's swimming in my belly. But I've felt like poor Garritt doesn't get to feel how real Ryder is...until today! Right after Ryder kicked G immediately wanted him to kick again. He said he wanted Ryder to 'score another goal'. I'm sure there will be many kicks to come and I can't wait for every single one of them!

Ryder Wesley Teague Caudill

We had a sonogram yesterday and were told that we are having a BOY! Little, or probably big, Ryder will be here around November 21!

It was so fun finding out that we were having a boy. There were only a handful of people who guessed that we would have a boy. So, congratulations to y'all!

Here are the sonogram pictures that we got yesterday! Enjoy...

This is the best one:

In this one you can see his eyes! A little bit creepy!

You can see his legs here! Knee to feet kind of draped over one another!

And here is the money shot where you can tell he is a he! Already embarrassing my baby boy.

Well, that's all for now. I was just anxious to share these pictures with everyone!