Death Cab For Cutie

My musical dreams were made a reality this past Friday when I got to see Death Cab for Cutie live, in concert. 

My friend won tickets to the show and I presume knows my love for the band and offered a ticket to me. So, not only did I get to see the show but I got to see it for free...and we got to park about 8 spots away from the entrance to Gexa Pavilion which made everything 100x better. 

I have loved DCFC since early high school...which for me was around 2005. I was introduced to their album Plans first. Their music just resonates with me. It's melancholic, soulful, and then at times just rocks your entire being. 

I got a text from my sister asking if I wanted to join them for the show and I about jumped out of my seat. I immediately asked my dad to watch my kids...nothing was going to stop me from seeing that show. 

I don't know if I can adequately explain how excited I was to get to see the show. As I was sitting in my seat waiting for the band to start my sister, Elise, asked me if I was having a bad time or just unable to control my excitement. 

I had been chatty the whole evening but once the band was about to start I was just silent. 

I'm not exaggerating when  say that I was acting the same way I did when I walked down the aisle to my husband and when I held my son and daughter for the first time. In every one of those experiences I was silent with emotion that I couldn't control. It really was that impacting. 

Their set list was nothing like I expected. 

They opened with I Will Possess Your Heart. It had a long interlude of musical genius before Gibbard began to sing. The whole band looked so calm and comfortable. It was this amazing experience where I felt like I knew these people...which was really so weird. The connection people make through music is so interesting and fascinating to me. They played The New Year towards the end of the set and I was instantly transported to my mom's Expedition when I listened to that song on my first solo drive after getting my license. 

Gibbard took the stage alone and played I Will Follow You Into the Dark which made me immediately wish my husband had been there so we could dance. I was genuinely surprised people weren't dancing in the aisles. 

Quickly the concert was over. They started and ended perfectly on time. I was so appreciative of how prompt they were. It made me love them even more. I wish the encore had been an extra hour. 

I have never been to a single concert and not thought 'I wonder when this will be over'. I never thought that once at this show. It was over and I felt like it had only just begun. 

Even though they didn't play even half the songs I wish they would've- Transatlatisicm is my favorite album and they only played a couple songs from it- it was still the best concert I've ever been to and I can almost confidently say I will never be to one as wonderful. 

Really, I might as well never see another live show. I should also mention that I tend to lean towards dramatics. I will most certainly go to other shows. But I'll leave saying 'that was good...but it was no Death Cab.' 

I like to think that since it was one of Chris Walla's last shows that he picked the set list and those are his favorites and mean the most to him so it makes me feel better about not hearing my favorites. He didn't give a long goodbye he simply put his hands at Heart's Center and gave a small bow as he exited the stage- saying more about himself than a long speech could have done. 

He was so wonderful to watch during the set. As he sang vocals behind the upright piano he looked as if his whole musical soul was pouring out of him. And the long glances he and Ben shared were sweet and seemed to say 'I'll miss this, brother'...and maybe I was reading too much into everything. But it was nice to share in their evening. 

My takeaway is that music is powerful and impacts people more deeply than most things. I wish I could hang out with Gibbard and the gang and talk about Jesus and learn more about their music. 

Here is a photo from the show...

I barely took any because I was too entranced. 

Here's the one video I took

August

This time of year makes me remember and think about two sweet things:
On August 23, our sweet Rayne will turn one...
But before Rayne...before even Ryder...there was Isaiah. There was my first pregnancy that only lasted 8 or so weeks. Isaiah is what we call him. We had no way of knowing that he was a him but we felt it.

A quick Google search reveals these options for the meaning of the name 'Isaiah'

Biblical Meaning: 
The name Isaiah is a Biblical baby name. In Biblical the meaning of the name Isaiah is: The salvation of the Lord.

American Meaning: 
The name Isaiah is an American baby name. In American the meaning of the name Isaiah is: The salvation of the Lord.

Hebrew Meaning: 
The name Isaiah is a Hebrew baby name. In Hebrew the meaning of the name Isaiah is: The Lord is generous. Salvation of the Lord. 

Isaiah was due to be born late August 2011. Rayne was safely delivered the week of Isaiah's estimated due date. I find so much sweetness in that fact. "The Lord is generous." He sure is. So generous that 3 months after taking Isaiah home- he filled my belly with Ryder.

Ryder is my wonderful, kind, generous, loving, rambunctious first born son. He will be 3 in November.I guess this month makes me think of 3 sweet things because if Isaiah hadn't been called home then we never would have met Ryder. Talk about a blessing in a time of struggle. That boy brings more joy to my life than I ever knew existed. The first time he took my face in his hands, looked me straight in the eyes, and told me he loved me I melted. The first time he said, 'mama, i need you' I came running. The first time he closed his door to his bedroom with me on the other side but told me to 'watch your fingers' I knew he'd always try to protect me. He's it.

Rayne will turn 1 in less than two weeks. When she first walked all the way from one end of the room to the other just to get to me I was so proud. When she learned to wave and clap I was giddy with laughter. And last week when she said 'mama' with intent for the first time I wanted to cry. She's a joy and she is my delight and I love that she is a shining light all by herself but also is a beacon of hope, reminding me of her brother.

God used my body to house, nourish, nurture, and comfort three babies. We have only met two of those babes earth-side but one day we will all be reunited in Heaven, Lord willing. I will get to hold my Isaiah. I will get to comfort him.

The Lord is generous. Isaiah never knew pain. He never knew the suffering that comes with living in this broken world. He is with our King and that is the best prayer you can offer for your children- that they would know the Lord. What a great comfort to know the King.

Here is a LINK to the blog post I wrote post miscarriage.
What I feel today is the same I wrote then:
The Lord is good. The Lord provides.
The Lord's timing does not fail.

Onward to the rest of August and to celebrating my babies.
Here is the birthday girl-

Titus

As I was reading a thread today about a woman desiring a puppy after a recent loss it made me think about my own loss and my own puppy...

Right around this time 3 years ago we got our sweet puppy Titus on the heels of a miscarriage. We went to the humane society 'just to look'. We went in knowing we one day desired a golden retriever/lab mix and didn't expect to find one. You could tell it was spur of the moment because I was wearing all black and what clothes respecting human goes to visit dogs wearing all black. 

We looked at all the puppies and small dogs in the indoor space and of course we saw adorable pups but didn't even bother to get any out to play with. We went to look at the outdoor dogs and made it through an entire row without coming to a stop. We reached the second row...about halfway down Garritt and I both heeled (dog humor) and looked at each other. Before us wiggled a golden lab mix. He was small and beautiful. I had a minor freak out and began frantically asking Garritt how we went about getting it out. He said we should ask and I told him to go find someone while I stood right there, guarding the dog. I stood in front of that cage positive that if I moved someone would sweep in and take the dog. 

We walked Titus around a little and then sat in this small area with grasses and two benches. While I cuddled the pup, black clothes now masked in hair, I asked Garritt what we should do next. "Where do we go from here?"

Apparently this sweet dog had been bought before and returned. He had been taken to a home...the family decided they didn't like him...and discarded him right back into the shelter. He went from sleeping in a house to sleeping back on cement. He went from feeling loved and cared for to being cared for but not feeling the love of a family. Because of that he had all of his shots and microchip and we could take him home that day if we chose to. 

We chose to. 

He was wonderful and adorable and we went straight to Petsmart to buy him a collar with his name on it. 

We named him Titus and like his name he was strong and kind and protective and gentle. He was everything we needed him to be. And we became everything he needed. 

He got a little sick a few weeks after having him. As I cleaned up a mess he made I remember falling to the floor to cradle him in my arms and I began to weep and cry out to God to keep my puppy safe. If you remember, we were on the heels of a miscarriage... I begged the Lord to save my puppy. I didn't want another loss. 

3 years later and Titus has never been sick again. Aside from living fully to his lab potential and eating all kinds of things he shouldn't and then throwing them up! 

I just see so many parallels between loss, being saved, and finding hope. 

Now, we're on the heels of celebrating Easter. 

Jesus was embraced by a group of people... then rejected by the same people...brutally murdered...and then came back to fulfill His promise to save the very people that mocked and rejected Him. 

It may seem a far stretch to go from talking about a dog that helped bring a family peace in a time of sorrow to talking about the Savior of the universe. But the Lord is good at all times. In times of sorrow and in times of great happiness. He knows what we need and provides it... even when it doesn't make sense to us. 

It's three years later and our family has grown. 2 dogs, a bunny, and two children. 

We couldn't be more happy. Or tired. 

I'm hugging Titus a little tighter today.