New Mexico, CO, Anniversarys, and more...

The last month of summer has flown by so quickly. We have done so much I thought I would take this opportunity to share some pictures...

Ryder and I took a trip to CO and on the way we stopped in New Mexico. My dad and I spoke at a conference in Denver, CO. My dad has been speaking at this conference since I was 7 or so and I have the fondest memories of Colorado from when I was growing up. When the opportunity came up for me to go this summer I was SO excited to take Ryder and for it to be his first vacation. It was just my mom, dad, Ryder and I piled in the mini van headed for adventure! On the way, we stopped in New Mexico and visited a few places my dad's family used to go when he was growing up. I get so much joy out of seeing my dad show us places of his youth. Sometimes, I probably wouldn't ordinarily care about some of the places he shows us but because he has such fond memories and he loves telling us the stories that accompany each place I find myself falling in love with every place we visit. 

NEW MEXICO

NM was beautiful and it was so much fun to see where my dad's family used to vacation. Ryder loved it too! He got to hang out in a hiking pack that his aunt and uncle so kindly let him borrow. He was such a trooper on the 10-hr drive. By far, the longest car ride he had ever taken. 

GARDEN of the GODS

Garden of the Gods will be the place I tell my kids stories about when I used to visit. I equate Colorado with Garden of the Gods. I love that place. It is beautiful and I have such fond memories of going there with my parents and brother especially. I could not have been more excited to share that place with Ryder. I know that he will not remember going there but I will definitely remember it and I will tell him about it all the time. It's just a shame that Garritt didn't get to share in the experience with us. But we sent him a lot a lot a lot of videos and pictures. 

COLORADO 

Garden of the Gods is in CO but I thought they needed two different headings. Going to Denver was a fun experience too. I have a lot of experience teaching and speaking in front of larger groups but I am used to speaking to teenagers. I got to speak to a room full of adults at this conference and I felt so comfortable. It was great. My dad and I spoke about parents and teens and about raising teens as young adults instead of old children. I loved it and I definitely would be interested in doing that sort of thing again. 

It was an unforgettable hour for me to spend with my dad. Tag teaming a seminar with him was one of those memories we will be able to share together forever!

I also got to see my wonderful, best, sweet friend Lauren-Claire in Denver and I can't believe we didn't take a picture but it was so much fun to see her and her new house and just to hug her. I had missed hugging her so much. LCP, you're the greatest and I have the highest of hopes for you and your future! 

My mom and I went to the cutest street I've ever been to, Highland Square. We went to a super cute book store, the greatest thrift store, and the best restaurant either of us have ever been to! Of course, that I have a picture for...

I mean, seriously, the queso was AMAZING! Brilliant. 

2 YEARS AND COUNTING

We got home from our trip just in time for mine and Garritt's 2 year wedding anniversary. Last year, we went to Medieval Times for our anniversary and this year we decided to carry on the now-tradition of going to kid-like places for our anniversaries. We chose the Dallas Aquarium for this year's anniversary. It was a hit! Ryder loved it and we had fun going somewhere neither of had been before. It was a good time! 

Anywhoo... that was my last month. WHAT A MONTH! It was great. 

Ryder still isn't sleeping through the night...but he is getting better. I am still so not even close to being the perfect mom AND wife...but I feel like I've made strives. I haven't finished my whole summer goals list...but I've done more than I have in past summers. Overall, God is still good and I'm so excited for what this year is going to bring and I've still got the cutest pumpkin muffin sweetheart baby. 

I'm not proof reading this blogpost... PS

Prowling Lions

As I am waiting to start the SheReadsTruth prayer devotion tomorrow, I decided to read Proverbs 31 this morning. For two reasons, I woke up this morning feeling victory over the enemy and feeling very grateful {in general but also for specific reasons}. Yesterday, when I read Chavon Taylor’s first blogpost I was reminded that in Heaven I will no longer be tired. Last night, when Ryan Hamon spoke at Impact I was reminded that God has beaten Satan already and that I was leaving room to be tempted into bitterness during my multiple night wakings. Today, I am going to write about all of that and more:

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“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour”

1 Peter 5:8

Man, have I felt that for the last-oh-8 months. I didn’t even know I was feeling it. But, it became clear last night as I put Ryder in his crib and it became abundantly clear as I woke this morning feeling refreshed…along with waking last night feeling refreshed and again last night still feeling refreshed {a refreshment that only comes from the Lord}. I was up just as much last night as I have been all week but my attitude was new and different. I have been praying on loop for weeks that God would give Ryder, and in turn me, more sleep. I have gladly woken up multiple times a night for my sweet baby for almost 8 months now but I have only very recently begun to get really sad about it. I have started to let it overcome me. I have not been sad that I have been waking up but I have been sad that I have not felt the Lord answering my prayer. Not even my prayerS, just my one prayer. I have cried out nightly for Him to show me what I am supposed to be learning during this process. How this nightly routine is teaching me something? How I am to grow through this? But, I haven’t felt anything and I think it’s because I was only looking for my answer to be MORE SLEEP. “Just a 4 hour stretch tonight, Lord, please?” And, I have found myself becoming discouraged because I started to think that I wasn’t asking for much. Why isn’t He giving it to me? I’m not asking the world here, Lord, I just want more sleep.

But last night as I prayed for Ryder while he slept in His crib I prayed a new prayer. Actually, I scream prayed a new prayer {in my head, of course. Don’t wake my sleeping baby}. I told the devil that he has no business in my home and he is not welcome here. I cried out that the God I serve has defeated him and will always and forever be victorious over him. This battle isn’t ongoing. It’s won. The battle in my heart is ongoing, however. I cried out to the Lord in apologetic tones. How selfish I am! So, I gently kissed my sons head, went and kissed my husband goodnight, and read a little of 2 Timothy before I fell asleep. 4 hours later, Ryder woke but I felt more rested than I have in a long time. I felt the kind of rest that can only mean my SOUL had found rest. I was at peace with being awake and I was praising the Lord from the moment I woke. And, I continued to praise throughout the rest of the night and now I sit writing this refreshed even though I slept no more than normal.

It’s all about attitude, y’all. God is sovereign and He’s going to get what He wants, regardless of what we think. He wants me, us, to run to Him. He desires to be our everything. So, why wouldn’t we oblige? Why don’t I take up the cross every single day and find refuge in HIS strength when I am weak? Because, most of the time my attitude sucks. Most of the time I am selfish even in my kindness. Most of the time I find flaws where He says I’m redeemed. Most of the time All of the time I am a sinner that doesn’t recognize the depths and grossness of my sin.

Watch out for that lion. He’s waiting in the wings, in your thoughts, in your midst. He’s waiting and will wait as long as he needs to try and steal you from the Lord. He’s patient. Don’t let him devour you.

I was going to write about Proverbs 31 today too but I think it would be better for a later blogpost. But, let me just say that Proverbs 31 teaches you best how to be the kind of woman revered by God. It’s awesome. If you haven’t read it, read it. If you have read it, read it again and learn something new!

God is good, y’all. And He’s faithful even when we’re not. He can’t deny Himself. 

Loving your city through loving the homeless

Ryder is napping so I thought I would take this opportunity to write a quick blog post.

First, I would like to say that this is the second blog post I've written this week. Who am I? Apparently someone who is starting to blog more often. Add that to my last blog post! Another summer goal is to blog more often...I am not going to doom myself by saying how often. Let's be real, I am going to accomplish all of my summer goals and I don't want to paint myself into any corners I cannot escape!

Alrighty, here goes it.

       I went to the grocery this morning and was met by a semi-familiar face when I got there. There is a homeless man that I have seen quite often there that is deaf. He holds a card explaining that he needs help by way of food. Wishing Garritt or my mom were there (they know sign language) I spoke slowly (slowly for me so it was probably still too fast. Really, I speak like a Gilmore Girl) so he could read my lips. I told him I didn't have any cash on me but asked if he was hungry. He signed that he needed food, I know that sign. I asked him if he wanted me to buy him something and I would bring it out when I was done shopping. He said yes and I told him it would probably take an hour for me to shop but I promised I would be back.
      For whatever reason, he was not there when I returned. I knew this was a possibility for many reason; I took much longer to shop than I intended, he may be told that often, he may not have understood my speed talking, or he may have just wanted cash. Whatever the reason, I am so glad it happened. I'll tell you why... It gave me an idea. It gave me an idea that I want to challenge you with.

CHALLENGE: When you go to the store why don't you go ahead and buy an extra meal. A meal that can stay in your car and not be effected by the weather. Or, a nice cold sandwich and chips to give away as soon as you leave the store. Find someone in need and give them that meal!  Look, an extra $5 at the store is not going to break your budget. It's a simple way of loving our city through loving the homeless.

    After I left the grocery store I didn't want the meal I bought to go to waste and it couldn't sit in my car without going bad. I then proceeded to drive around all the hot spots near my house that I usually see homeless friends on the side of the street. I drove around for probably 20 minutes with all of my cold groceries in the back just looking for someone to bless with a meal. You know what happened? I couldn't find ANYONE! Not a one person. So, that lead me to the second part of my challenge...

CHALLENGE PT 2: While driving around looking for someone to gift your meal to PRAY for your city.

     That's what I did. I drove around for 20 minutes looking for a homeless friend while praying for Ft. Worth, TX. I didn't find anyone to give a meal to but I felt so refreshed and filled with love for my city and the people in it. This is not a life-altering challenge. It's not even a hard challenge. It is a REALISTIC challenge. This is also a challenge I plan on doing myself, for the rest of my life. With the hopes that my sweet son Ryder will grow up loving the homeless through loving the Lord.

So, that's it. Get out there and love your city through loving the homeless!
AMEN

Summer Goals 2012

It's that time again. A time to set a list of goals to achieve over the summer. Not once have I ever written a list of goals and actually accomplished even half of it. This year, I will accomplish ALL of the goals on my list! Below I will list a set of goals that I hope to accomplish with the help of my friends and loved ones: 1.Transfer all of my recipes to one easy to use notebook. Hand write them. The best home made recipe books are hand written like Grandma Hines used to do, but she had a card catalog. 2.Start Ryder's scrapbook. I do not have to finish but I at least have to make a good amount of headway. 3.Get back into yoga. Never hot yoga though, that's a death trap just waiting for me. 4.Play a game of Ultimate. One game. That's all I ask. If I get to play more that would be awesome! 5.Go swimming as much as possible with Caitlin, Denver, Chavon, Jude, Amanda, Brittany, and obviously my mom. 6.Go to the museum a lot...but not so much that I start to think it's boring. 7.Replace photos in frames in my house with updated family pictures. 8.GET CLOSER TO FINISHING CERTIFICATION FOR COUNSELING...or maybe just FINISH altogether. 9.Tell everyone who will listen, and even those who won't, about essential oils and how they can genuinely be life changing...and have a class to help with this! 10.Write a novel That's it. That's the list. Subject to change because, well, I wrote it. I know there is something I left out. I will add it if I think of it. If you have any good goals you think I should have, tell me! Here's my cutest creation:

I am so awful at blogging consistently. I want to try to get better. Not because I think anyone in the world is sitting by their computer just waiting to read what I have to say but because I really enjoy writing and even more so I enjoy being consistent!

I just read a blog by my sister-in-law. She always writes moving blogs that spur me on to thinking great thoughts. I've been thinking a lot lately about balance. I want to be better at balancing being a mom AND a wife. I have no problem saying that I am a great mom. I was clearly designed to be a mom and I love it. God has given me the gift of relatively seamlessly entering into motherhood with few hardships. Yes, I had a long labor. Yes, Ryder has already needed surgery. Yes, his sleeping has become less and less consistent. But all of those things I feel like I have handled with ease and the grace that only comes from God.

Anyways, I blog about this to be transparent and for accountability. I want to be a wonderful wife as well as mom. Right after God, my husband should be my first priority. I don't know how to do that at this point. I love Garritt so much and he is so supportive and loving and understanding. I just want to be feel as great about being a wife as I do about being a mother.

Ryder is so wonderful. He is such a joy. He started smiling and laughing in response to things a couple of weeks ago and it changed my life. I can get him to calm down if he's fussy more easily now that I know what he likes.

Things that Ryder likes:
-The Ellen Show
-His mom dancing around in the kitchen while cooking and listening to The Beach Boys
-His mom singing Janis Joplin's 'Me and Bobby McGee'
-Gripping things... like mom's hair
-Eating
-Sleeping in his crib
-Eating
-Walks
-Having explosive diapers
-and Eating

Things Ryder doesn't like:
-Not eating
-Not napping when he's sleepy

I love my big, growing munchkin.
I'm sure you do too... just look at him!

Life as a mom...

I have been a mom for almost 6 weeks now and this is what I have to say about it...
I love it!

When I started dating Garritt I loved being a girlfriend. When I got engaged I loved being a fiance. When I got married I loved being a wife. And now that I have had a baby I love being a mom. All of the aforementioned steps have seemed so natural to me. I think I must have been waiting this whole time to be a mom.

Now I get excited about finding new recipes and making grocery lists to buy everything I need to cook delicious meals. I have no problem (I actually dream about this)with being the ideal 50s, June Cleaver housewife. I find such incredible joy in it. I pray that one day (soon) Garritt and I will be financially able for me to be a full time stay at home mom. I am so far away from being a feminist that I hardly know what it would mean to be one. I love being submissive to my husband. I love cooking my family meals. I absolutely love doing the laundry...this may be due to finally having a working washer/dryer and being over the moon excited to use it. But what I also love is that my husband treats me as an equal and loves me with all the kindness of Christ. If all the feminists in the world had husbands like Christ I doubt they would see the need to be one.

I didn't intend this blog post to be what it has turned into but I'm into it. I started writing this evening to brag about my love of my new darling little son...but it ended up being a proclamation of the Proverbs 31 woman! If you have not read Proverbs 31:10-the end do it now.

What a woman to admire and aim to be like!
God designed me for a purpose and why would I try to flee from the very reason I was made?

Anyways, isn't my son adorable?

The Birth Story

Labor- 41 hours and 18 minutes
Active Labor- 11 hours and 18 minutes
Pushing stage- 1 hour
Contractions felt and prompting me to believe labor was near- one whole week

Those are the statistics that will begin my birth story. I have been stalling writing this because I have not been entirely sure what to write or how to even begin but I will just go for it.

3 weeks ago time was passing much more quickly for me. Looking back it is odd to me that time was passing so quickly because I was in pain that I could not have previously imagined. On Monday, November 21 (my due date) I started having contractions. I hadn’t had any Braxton Hicks contractions throughout my pregnancy so when I began feeling contractions for the first time I thought he must be coming soon. The contractions started becoming more and more regular. I kept going about my life as normally as possible all the while thinking I could be leaving for the birth center at any moment. Those contractions went on until the next Monday when Ryder was actually born.
Labor started on my birthday, November 26. It was my 21st birthday and I hardly remember it. My birthday coincided with Hinesgiving this year. (Hinesgiving is the name of my family’s second Thanksgiving always held on the Saturday after Thursday Thanksgiving). I escaped to my parent’s room during a game of Celebrity Bowl because I was in quite a bit of pain. I contacted my midwife and she asked me to have my mom time 3 sets of contractions. The contractions were all 3-4 minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds-1 minute. At that point my midwife, Donnellyn, told me to go home and have my doula, Stephanie, meet me. It was exciting to get to leave the house with all my family in one place and they all know at the same time that baby Ryder was coming soon! Psh at least that is what I thought at the time. I went home, changed, Stephanie arrived and pretty quickly we were leaving for the birth center! As painful as the drive was I would have thought it would have seemed longer but that felt like the shortest trip to Argyle (the city my birth center is in) that I had ever had. Poor Garritt kept talking to me and not getting a response and asking if I was upset with him. He would then look down to my phone, see the timer going and say ‘Oh, sorry. Is that another one?’

We got to the birth center and were turned around to go home. I was only about a centimeter or two dilated. I am so very glad that we were sent home because baby didn’t come for another 41 hours! What a long labor! That night went very quickly although I did not sleep but 45 minutes. I am seeing a theme…things that should have felt like they took forever just didn’t. Praise God! I think overnight is when my back pain really started. I have never felt pain like that in my life. I definitely didn’t expect it. I cannot even explain the pain but every 3-7 minutes that night and up until he was finally born I felt like my back…I don’t even know. I am at a loss for words to describe any part of it. Most of the night I tried to power through the pain on my own because I knew Garritt was tired and he really needed to get some sleep before the next day. When I could tell he was awake I would just say “please” and he would rub my back through the contractions. I have a bathroom in my bedroom and I can so vividly remember getting up to go to the bathroom and only making it to the end of my bed before having to stop to have a contraction and then the same on the way back. Finally, the sun rose and I decided it was a decent enough hour to call Donnellyn to update her and call Stephanie and have her come over.
The next day was a lot of the same things but here are the highlights:
-Being told what seemed like a million times to eat but not wanting to.
-The most wonderful chiropractor, Rachel Whaley, coming to my house to adjust me.
-Actually being able to take a small nap.
-And finally, leaving for the birth center a second time!
We were passing downtown at 5:17. I remember this because I said to Garritt that if Ryder were born in 20 minutes he would be born at the same time as our nephew Denver. We missed that mark by a wide margin.
The next 11 hours and 18 minutes passed so quickly that I thought Ryder was born in the middle of the night…not at 5:18 in the MORNING…the next day. The next 11 hours and 18 minutes were also the most painful time in my life. Praise God for making it pass so quickly!
Here are the highlights:
-Only being able to walk 5-10 steps before having a contraction
-Sitting, standing, and laying in any position to make the pain the least painful.
-Truly feeling simultaneously very grateful for whoever was applying counter pressure to my back and feeling very bad for asking anyone to do it. The thing I remember the most was how guilty I felt every time I had to ask someone to help me by rubbing my back. I am so thankful for the team I had for being so willing to tend to my back without me even having to ask most times. I feel like the only things I said that whole night were ‘please’ and ‘I’m sorry’. I thought I must have been very annoying.
-Being excited to get in the water…being excited for the jets to turn on…and being very sad that it didn’t help.
-Believing that I must be having back labor since it was so painful and then doing something more painful than the worst contraction to get him to turn around and face the right way. He was not actually faced the wrong way. I was not having back labor. He was just too big for me and caused crazy pain.
- Donnellyn breaking my water. When she asked me if I wanted her to go ahead and break my water I am sure I didn’t look like it but I could not have been more excited! I said yes! I knew at that point that he would be there soon and my back pain would be over!
-Being prayed over constantly. Especially the last prayer Donnellyn prayed before we left to go home. When she was done I said, ‘You don’t get that in a hospital’.

This time when I got in the bathtub I knew I was coming out with a son! I had a 10 pound 6 ounce baby. The pushing stage was NOTHING compared to the labor! Donnellyn explained to me what I was going to do and to let my body guide me. After she said that and I could feel that it was time it was as if everyone in the room disappeared, I could only hear them. I could hear Garritt telling me to squeeze his hand (but I wouldn’t because I didn’t want to hurt him). He kept repeating to squeeze his hand. I could hear another part of my team, Sue, cheering me on. I could hear Donnellyn telling me to feel his hair and telling me how much more I had left. Mostly, I felt and could hear my body telling me when to push and when to take breaks. I have never felt so in-tune with my body before. It is amazing how God equips us to birth children. Before I knew it my son was here and I could see only him. I vaguely remember seeing Garritt cut the cord and hearing Donnellyn say that he was no doubt 10 pounds.

I had a long, hard labor. I lost a lot, and I mean a lot, of blood. I had to have an IV after Ryder was born. I suddenly got very tired and was falling asleep while people were talking to me and then was wide awake after the IV. I wasn’t allowed to get up for a very long time. I had to eat but still didn’t really want to. I had to drink a LOT of water and gross chlorophyll. I then threw up the water and chlorophyll and then had to drink more. But none of that mattered. I had my son. The Lord finally gave me a son. My family felt like more of a family. It would never be just Garritt and I again.

I didn’t cry. I didn’t cry during contractions. I didn’t cry when I was pushing. I didn’t even cry when I saw Ryder for the first time. I was so incredibly happy when I saw Ryder for the first time. I was so relieved that I had done it and he was with me. It wasn’t until I first saw my family walking through the bedroom door with my mom in the lead to meet Ryder that I cried. It felt so real then. I was so excited to introduce him to my family. It was wonderful.
The question I have been asked most since Ryder’s birth is if I will have another all natural water birth. Every contraction I had I was either pleading with God to take the pain from me, begging Him to walk through the pain with me, or thinking to myself that this would be my only child. So, my answer to that question is that if I have another baby I will no doubt have that baby the exact same way. I will feel every second of pain. I am so pleased that God placed a passion in my heart for natural childbirth. As painful as it was and as many times as I begged God to carry me on His shoulders through my contractions…I would never do it another way. I feel so close to Ryder. I also feel so close to God. The pain I felt is so small compared to the pain He felt when He gave us Christ. The pain He went through allowed me to lean on Him during my pain. How great is our God!
There is my birth story. Long…just like my labor.