Labor- 41 hours and 18 minutes
Active Labor- 11 hours and 18 minutes
Pushing stage- 1 hour
Contractions felt and prompting me to believe labor was near- one whole week
Those are the statistics that will begin my birth story. I have been stalling writing this because I have not been entirely sure what to write or how to even begin but I will just go for it.
3 weeks ago time was passing much more quickly for me. Looking back it is odd to me that time was passing so quickly because I was in pain that I could not have previously imagined. On Monday, November 21 (my due date) I started having contractions. I hadn’t had any Braxton Hicks contractions throughout my pregnancy so when I began feeling contractions for the first time I thought he must be coming soon. The contractions started becoming more and more regular. I kept going about my life as normally as possible all the while thinking I could be leaving for the birth center at any moment. Those contractions went on until the next Monday when Ryder was actually born.
Labor started on my birthday, November 26. It was my 21st birthday and I hardly remember it. My birthday coincided with Hinesgiving this year. (Hinesgiving is the name of my family’s second Thanksgiving always held on the Saturday after Thursday Thanksgiving). I escaped to my parent’s room during a game of Celebrity Bowl because I was in quite a bit of pain. I contacted my midwife and she asked me to have my mom time 3 sets of contractions. The contractions were all 3-4 minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds-1 minute. At that point my midwife, Donnellyn, told me to go home and have my doula, Stephanie, meet me. It was exciting to get to leave the house with all my family in one place and they all know at the same time that baby Ryder was coming soon! Psh at least that is what I thought at the time. I went home, changed, Stephanie arrived and pretty quickly we were leaving for the birth center! As painful as the drive was I would have thought it would have seemed longer but that felt like the shortest trip to Argyle (the city my birth center is in) that I had ever had. Poor Garritt kept talking to me and not getting a response and asking if I was upset with him. He would then look down to my phone, see the timer going and say ‘Oh, sorry. Is that another one?’
We got to the birth center and were turned around to go home. I was only about a centimeter or two dilated. I am so very glad that we were sent home because baby didn’t come for another 41 hours! What a long labor! That night went very quickly although I did not sleep but 45 minutes. I am seeing a theme…things that should have felt like they took forever just didn’t. Praise God! I think overnight is when my back pain really started. I have never felt pain like that in my life. I definitely didn’t expect it. I cannot even explain the pain but every 3-7 minutes that night and up until he was finally born I felt like my back…I don’t even know. I am at a loss for words to describe any part of it. Most of the night I tried to power through the pain on my own because I knew Garritt was tired and he really needed to get some sleep before the next day. When I could tell he was awake I would just say “please” and he would rub my back through the contractions. I have a bathroom in my bedroom and I can so vividly remember getting up to go to the bathroom and only making it to the end of my bed before having to stop to have a contraction and then the same on the way back. Finally, the sun rose and I decided it was a decent enough hour to call Donnellyn to update her and call Stephanie and have her come over.
The next day was a lot of the same things but here are the highlights:
-Being told what seemed like a million times to eat but not wanting to.
-The most wonderful chiropractor, Rachel Whaley, coming to my house to adjust me.
-Actually being able to take a small nap.
-And finally, leaving for the birth center a second time!
We were passing downtown at 5:17. I remember this because I said to Garritt that if Ryder were born in 20 minutes he would be born at the same time as our nephew Denver. We missed that mark by a wide margin.
The next 11 hours and 18 minutes passed so quickly that I thought Ryder was born in the middle of the night…not at 5:18 in the MORNING…the next day. The next 11 hours and 18 minutes were also the most painful time in my life. Praise God for making it pass so quickly!
Here are the highlights:
-Only being able to walk 5-10 steps before having a contraction
-Sitting, standing, and laying in any position to make the pain the least painful.
-Truly feeling simultaneously very grateful for whoever was applying counter pressure to my back and feeling very bad for asking anyone to do it. The thing I remember the most was how guilty I felt every time I had to ask someone to help me by rubbing my back. I am so thankful for the team I had for being so willing to tend to my back without me even having to ask most times. I feel like the only things I said that whole night were ‘please’ and ‘I’m sorry’. I thought I must have been very annoying.
-Being excited to get in the water…being excited for the jets to turn on…and being very sad that it didn’t help.
-Believing that I must be having back labor since it was so painful and then doing something more painful than the worst contraction to get him to turn around and face the right way. He was not actually faced the wrong way. I was not having back labor. He was just too big for me and caused crazy pain.
- Donnellyn breaking my water. When she asked me if I wanted her to go ahead and break my water I am sure I didn’t look like it but I could not have been more excited! I said yes! I knew at that point that he would be there soon and my back pain would be over!
-Being prayed over constantly. Especially the last prayer Donnellyn prayed before we left to go home. When she was done I said, ‘You don’t get that in a hospital’.
This time when I got in the bathtub I knew I was coming out with a son! I had a 10 pound 6 ounce baby. The pushing stage was NOTHING compared to the labor! Donnellyn explained to me what I was going to do and to let my body guide me. After she said that and I could feel that it was time it was as if everyone in the room disappeared, I could only hear them. I could hear Garritt telling me to squeeze his hand (but I wouldn’t because I didn’t want to hurt him). He kept repeating to squeeze his hand. I could hear another part of my team, Sue, cheering me on. I could hear Donnellyn telling me to feel his hair and telling me how much more I had left. Mostly, I felt and could hear my body telling me when to push and when to take breaks. I have never felt so in-tune with my body before. It is amazing how God equips us to birth children. Before I knew it my son was here and I could see only him. I vaguely remember seeing Garritt cut the cord and hearing Donnellyn say that he was no doubt 10 pounds.
I had a long, hard labor. I lost a lot, and I mean a lot, of blood. I had to have an IV after Ryder was born. I suddenly got very tired and was falling asleep while people were talking to me and then was wide awake after the IV. I wasn’t allowed to get up for a very long time. I had to eat but still didn’t really want to. I had to drink a LOT of water and gross chlorophyll. I then threw up the water and chlorophyll and then had to drink more. But none of that mattered. I had my son. The Lord finally gave me a son. My family felt like more of a family. It would never be just Garritt and I again.
I didn’t cry. I didn’t cry during contractions. I didn’t cry when I was pushing. I didn’t even cry when I saw Ryder for the first time. I was so incredibly happy when I saw Ryder for the first time. I was so relieved that I had done it and he was with me. It wasn’t until I first saw my family walking through the bedroom door with my mom in the lead to meet Ryder that I cried. It felt so real then. I was so excited to introduce him to my family. It was wonderful.
The question I have been asked most since Ryder’s birth is if I will have another all natural water birth. Every contraction I had I was either pleading with God to take the pain from me, begging Him to walk through the pain with me, or thinking to myself that this would be my only child. So, my answer to that question is that if I have another baby I will no doubt have that baby the exact same way. I will feel every second of pain. I am so pleased that God placed a passion in my heart for natural childbirth. As painful as it was and as many times as I begged God to carry me on His shoulders through my contractions…I would never do it another way. I feel so close to Ryder. I also feel so close to God. The pain I felt is so small compared to the pain He felt when He gave us Christ. The pain He went through allowed me to lean on Him during my pain. How great is our God!
There is my birth story. Long…just like my labor.
